There is a lot that the paganperspective collaborative has done for me in what doesn’t just SEEM like a short time but is a short time. Their collective insight and the way they approach their subject matter has helped me in a way that I never really knew that I needed. In one of Charlie’s videos on self harm and the Rede (read: the Wiccan Rede) she spoke of how a person can be entirely unaware that they are causing them self harm, blacking out and waking up covered in cuts. Something that has become more and more evident to me, although I wasn’t conscious of it till I watched her video, is that I have been in this ‘black out and wake up’ state for a very long time now.
By always making my spiritual health the lowest priority I had been, in a spiritual sense of things, blacking out and waking up with cuts all over me. Ignoring my own desire for greater spiritual wellbeing and putting it last has had a similar effect to self harm, and has also been working against the very thing which first spurred me to set out on this exploration of my spirituality.
While it was Charlie’s video which opened my eyes, so to speak, to what I was doing to myself it was a video of Cara’s on a mostly unrelated subject which really gave me an answer to the inevitable question: Why have I been doing this to myself? How has this become such a part of me that it feels normal, so normal that I’m not even cognisant of my own actions?
Cara’s video deals with the idea of Shadow Work and ‘your’ shadow. That is, the shadow self that is the manifestation of all the dark aspects of yourself – your weaknesses, the parts of yourself you hide away, fears and the like. In her video Cara talks about how her studies in Shadow Work deals with the things about yourself that you don’t want to acknowledge. That is definitely going to have to be something that I work myself up to, working with Shadow.
Cara’s description of what the Shadow is was what really drove home the half-thought that I have been having the last few days. I have not been confronting or suppressing my shadow – at all. If I really am honest, I have been letting my shadow dominate me for the longest time now.
However, I can now say that I owe the paganperspective much. Had I not happened to stumble across that first video that brought paganperspective into my awareness, I would probably not have stopped letting my shadow be the dominant aspect in myself.
Heres to spiritual healing.
Charlie’s video – Self Harm Under the Rede: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf23TtljsEg
Cara’s video – Working with Shadow: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKqidAvNcpI