Despite the title, this is really only broadly related to the practices of calling down and grounding. The real subject is the entire concept of energy. And how it and I don’t really see eye to eye.
Much of the things I’ve come across in paganism-heathenry has involved or involves some kind energy work. Calling it down, drawing circle, visualisation etc. Now, obviously not every kind of paganism-heathenry involves energy use like this, however enough of it does that this is a bit of a problem for me. Energy is just something that I… fail at.
Much like most of what I do, I’m working from a position of practical ignorance. By which I mean, I’ve read plenty of theory but had no real instruction or guidance and am basically trying to muddle it out myself. As you would expect the results are usually, well, none. Let me tell you why…
One part of my issue is that I am paranoid of fooling myself. I’m all to aware of how the body can trick you into thinking you’re feeling or seeing something that really isn’t there. Which makes things tricky when what I am trying to touch is fairly ephemeral in nature and has (at least in the resources I’ve gotten my hands on) been observed mostly through empirical, subjective experience.
Tomorrow I’m going to find some spare time and have another try at meditating, throwing in some tidbits from my runes studies. While this doesn’t relate directly to energy workings (of any flavour) I’m hoping that the experience is going to prove to be a worthwhile foundation in further personal experimentation in energy based stuff.
I’ll admit, whether justified or not, I do feel that there is a whole part of the pagan-heathen community that I wont ever be able to connect with, interpersonally, until I have some experience with energy.