So, I worked out that I have exactly seven posts to catch up on to make up the days that I’ve missed and what not. To keep myself honest, and just cause its kind of novel, I’m going to start keeping track of my catch up posts and make a category out of them. Mostly because it’ll be a bit of fun for me.
I’m really only going to go through some housekeeping things in this one, personal updates and the like. Nothing directly related to the actual subject of my blog but there you have it.
My job hunt has not been going well, to my chagrin. Despite a number of applications and several interviews I still remain jobless and unfortunately it is starting to get to me again. Its one of those things where, I keep being told that its a terrible time to be trying to get a job and how much difficulty other people had getting a job after they finished their degree. The fact of the matter is that there is a total loss of personal agency, for me at least, inherent in not having a job. I have no capacity to act in this word as Me. It’s always through someone else who can do the things i want to do, whether its earn money or be away from home doing something laudable. I just have no sense of personal agency and there are days when it kills me, it just kills me. Not literally of course, but still.
As the year gets on I find that there are a lot of things slowly getting to me purely because I’m in a rut, though I hesitate to say that it is one of my own construction. The simple fact is that I am envious of how the many lives around me seem to be moving and growing whereas my life and I are just… sitting still. There is certainly something to be said for the perspective that stillness allows you, but I’m eager for movement and energy to return to my life.
For the next week at least, possibly two, I’m house sitting for a friend of the family. The great benefit to this is that I am able to do my own things, openly and when I chose to. It is also a very quiet part of the city, with no one else in the house. I will admit that I am enjoying it with but a single proviso: It’s hard to fill my day.