Pushing and Keeping On Going

Much like the person who made a video a listened to a moment or two ago, I am ready for bed and not really wanting to face things at the moment. All that I want to do is close my computer and get into bed and escape from the world through the unconsciousness of sleeping. So despite my surface desires, I am here and keeping my promise to myself and the unspoken agreement I have with You.

Why I am… putting across this particular sentiment is because I am between ‘up’ periods at the moment. I’d be lying if I said that my continued positive outlook on things has failed, because it is still there. But there are moments, like now, when all the things beneath it bubble to the surface and need to make their presence felt. All the stresses and worries and problems that plague me occasionally make themselves more obvious than I would otherwise like them to. The reality is that I am not just stuck in liminal time, but also in a place that I have for quite a while now associated with only bad things, for me personally.

It would surprise most people to hear that the place I am talking about is my home, my family home where my mother and father and brother live. They would be surprised to know that at least a large chunk of many of the things that bother come from my continued being at home. Nothing bad, per se, is happening. All is good for my mother and father and brother. However being here, at home, is a constant reminder of all the things that I loathe – about myself, about the person that now runs my country, about so many, many things.

Not exactly a wholly or directly Pagan and Heathen related subject, but I’ve expressed a few times now my thoughts on how a healthy state of mind is needed for spiritual exploration.

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One thought on “Pushing and Keeping On Going

  1. Nothing felt better for me than freedom – moving out of home. i feel one day soon I will be compeled to move back, with my mother, father and two brothers. Very negative indeed. And I definitely agree that a healthy state of mind is needed for spiritual exploration!
    And I found it hard living at home also. It sucks . . .

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