Whenever I miss even a single post, much less a big string of posts like I have done recently, I’m always acutely aware of it. It hangs around the periphery of my attentions and serves as a constant reminder that I need to put more effort in and be more disciplined. Sometimes, like the last few weeks, its more of a hassle than it is a help but never the less I find myself holding true to my commitment and keeping track of the posts that I have missed and coming back to put the effort in a keep things going.
There is one thing that unfortunately does not help my efforts to catchup when I get behind and that thing is simply a lack of ideas or topics.
Its kind of obvious when you think about it. Doing a post every single day, with my limited stock of knowledge and a desire to contribute quality things worth saying to the overall body of discussion in the Pagan and Heathen community… Once you put all of those things together it starts to get a little difficult to think ahead of time worthwhile topics to write about. In the most obvious regard, this is a bit of a belly ache, I make no secret of that. When I look at the dates and the number of posts that I’ve missed out on, I do get a little disheartened when I can’t think of a topic for every single one of those missed days. However, there is a powerful degree of forced inspiration or forced intellectual effort inherent in doing what I am trying to do. I’m my own worst enemy, but in this instance it works to my advantage to be my own worst enemy. I force myself to think harder, to work harder to contribute properly and not just write dross. My own personal standards for myself ensure that for the most part, what I present to the rest of you is something that I’ve thought quite a lot about – even if I don’t always get all of the thoughts down on the page and posted for you all to read.
I do think that this is something that every Pagan and Heathen blogger faces at one point or another, especially when they are learning and growing their personal praxis concurrent with their blogging. The sheer lack of personal experience means that there isn’t really anything that you can just draw upon when the inspiration for some innovative new thought hasn’t hit you. Which doesn’t even include the other pressures upon a blogger, of any kind not just Pagan and Heathen, from their everyday life and all the myriad things they face there. At the end of the day though, even if I don’t get a post out, or in my current case two or three or even four to catch up on everything, I do look upon coming back to my blog (even with all the backlog) as a victory. It means that I’m still committed and that I still have the desire to grow, both personally and as a Pagan and Heathen.
It certainly helps that there are a few posts where I’ve written lists of ideas and what not. Kudos to me for obsessive note taking I guess.