I have the benefit of being able to think about these topics twice over because of how I’ve ended up having to go about things, and I really do see this as an advantage. Yes, occasionally I do look at my notes and wonder what exactly I was thinking at a particular time to have written some particular thing down, however it also affords me the valuable chance to re-evaluate things. In this instance I am adding to my original thought rather than changing it per se.
In my initial weeks here I was certain that I would have no time to myself because there was, seemingly, a thousand jobs to get done. However I’ve come to understand that most of that sentiment was of my own crafting and really there is a different kind of opportunity being afforded to me. An opportunity to be completely away from everything that give me cause for concern and worry and distracts my thoughts from those things that I really feel are important. For example, though I’ve definitely not been handling every single one of my runes everyday, I have been building a better meditative practice and I have been using a blind-drawn rune each evening as a focus.
I have also been writing more and more as the weeks go past. Not always on what I thought I would, certainly not regularly on the things I do think I should be writing more on, but nevertheless. Writing even at all on a regular basis is a sign of improvement in my eyes. All of these things have really only been possible because of where I am. Because I have no Internet in my room at home here, I literally cannot take my work home with me. I am learning, through environmentally enforced discipline, how to detach myself from everything and focus utterly on what is important – and this is something that really extends beyond just any one aspect of my life.
In some respects I wonder if this is what the WitchCamp would have been like, totally removed from everything and entirely focused on Praxis to the exclusion of everything else. Naturally the very nature of such activities, whether it be a very well known sojourn such as WitchCamp or simply a retreat hosted by a local business and run by a prominent Pagan or Heathen from the area, is such that they do exactly what has happened to me. Take you away from everything, force you to leave all the minutiae behind and provide you with the chance to turn all of your energies to a single purpose – a place away from everything, where everything may not go.
If there is one thing I have gained or learned from my time here it is that writing is something I cannot do without. Intellectually, literature and writing and language stimulate me like few other things can; as a Pagan and Heathen writing has proven itself to be one of the best ways for me to discipline my thoughts and by writing I am able to make space in my mind. I would not go so far as to say it is a meditative practice or state, but it certainly is in that area.